Self-Love Isn’t Selfish: Loving Yourself the Way God Intended

Many of us grow up thinking that putting ourselves first sometimes is wrong…
That taking a break means we’re lazy…
That saying “no” makes us bad people…
That loving ourselves too much is pride.

But the truth is, self-love isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

Let’s talk about what it really means to love yourself the right way.


 What is Self-Love?

Self-love means taking care of your heart, your body, and your mind.
It means knowing your worth and treating yourself kindly.
It’s about making healthy choices that bring peace, not pain.

Self-love is:

  • Saying no when you’re overwhelmed.

  • Resting without guilt.

  • Eating well and sleeping enough.

  • Letting go of things and people that harm you.

  • Speaking kindly to yourself.

  • Spending time with God and feeding your spirit.


 What Does the Bible Say?

Some people think self-love is selfish. But the Bible says something different:

“Love your neighbor as yourself.” – Mark 12:31 (NIV)

This means you can’t love others well if you don’t love yourself first.

Jesus never said, “Forget about yourself.”
He said to love others as you love yourself. That means your love for others flows from a heart that knows it’s worthy, valuable, and deeply loved by God.

You matter to God.
Your body is His temple (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

So why treat yourself any less than how God sees you?


 Is Self-Love the Same as Pride?

Not at all.

Pride says, “I’m better than everyone.”
Self-love says, “I’m valuable, just like everyone else.”

Self-love is humble.
It doesn’t boast—it takes responsibility.
It doesn’t harm—it protects.

When you love yourself the way God wants, you show others what healthy love looks like too.


 What Science Says

Research shows that people who love themselves:

  • Have better mental health

  • Feel more joy and peace

  • Have stronger relationships

  • Make better life choices

Why? Because when you love yourself, you don’t settle for less than God’s best.


 Signs You Might Need More Self-Love

  • You feel guilty resting or saying no

  • You always put others ahead of yourself—even when you’re drained

  • You speak harshly to yourself in your thoughts

  • You feel like you’re never enough

Friend, if any of these sound like you, it might be time to pause… and pour some love back into YOU.


How to Practice Godly Self-Love

Here are a few gentle steps to start:

  1. Spend time with God daily – Let Him remind you of your worth.

  2. Say nice things to yourself – Speak what God says, not what shame says.

  3. Set boundaries – It’s okay to say no without explaining.

  4. Care for your body – Eat, sleep, and move in ways that honor your health.

  5. Rest – Even God rested. You can too.


 In Conclusion: Loving Yourself Helps You Love Others

You can’t pour from an empty cup.
You can’t give peace if you don’t have it.
You can’t serve with joy if you’re running on fumes.

So today, let this be your gentle permission slip:
You are allowed to love yourself. It’s not selfish; it’s wise. It’s holy. It’s what God wants.


 Scripture to Hold Close:

“He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me.” – Psalm 18:19

“Do everything in love.” – 1 Corinthians 16:14

“Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7


You are worthy of care. You are worthy of love.
Let that love begin with you.

Have you been struggling to love yourself? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
Or message me for one-on-one support. I’m here to walk with you. send a message on Whats+2348025972640. Let’s connect.